1
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:09,710
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,245
YOU GUYS ARE ALL IN FOR A TREAT.

3
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,381
I'M GONNA SHARE A LITTLE TASTE OF
MY CHILDHOOD WITH YOU TONIGHT.

4
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,183
THIS IS LINGUINI DE LONGO,

5
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,518
SAUTEED PEPPERS DE LONGO,
CHEESY GARLIC BREAD.

6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,521
- DE LONGO?
- NO, THAT'S DE FREEZER.

7
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:23,391
HOW COME WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR LENNOX TO COME HOME?

8
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,559
BECAUSE RYDER'S HUNGRY
AND HE'S A GROWING BOY.

9
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:29,163
CALM DOWN, RYDER. WE'LL
EAT IN A SECOND, OKAY?

10
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,598
SHE SAID SHE'LL BE HOME BY 6:00.

11
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,200
COME ON, SHE'S AT THE MALL.

12
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,701
SHE'S PROBABLY EATING FAST FOOD,

13
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,203
WHICH IS THE WAY I LIKE MY FOOD.

14
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,538
SO CAN WE STEP ON IT, LONGO?

15
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,074
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT WANTED US TO
HAVE FAMILY DINNERS EVERY NIGHT.

16
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,609
DON'T YOU REMEMBER? OPRAH
CAME TO YOU IN THAT DREAM

17
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,345
AND SAID THAT KIDS THAT EAT WITH
THEIR FAMILY STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

18
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,748
THEN YOU WOKE UP SCREAMING,
"DON'T WE ALL GET FREE CARS?"

19
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,250
YEAH WELL, I'VE
THOUGHT MORE ABOUT IT

20
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,018
AND I HAVE A BETTER WAY TO
KEEP KIDS OUT OF TROUBLE.

21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,553
YOU TELL THEM
EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.

22
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,323
- RYDER, DID I TELL YOU NOT TO DO DRUGS?
- YES, MA'AM.

23
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,291
- AND ARE YOU DOING DRUGS?
- NO, MA'AM.

24
00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:00,728
- THERE YOU HAVE IT. AND DON'T CALL ME MA'AM.
- YES, SIR.

25
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,198
THERE YOU ARE, MY SWEET CHILD.

26
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,799
I MADE THEM WAIT FOR YOU.

27
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,335
SO GET THIS.

28
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,203
THE WEIRDEST THING
HAPPENED TO ME AT THE MALL

29
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:11,038
WHILE I WAS IN THE
LADIES' BATHROOM.

30
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OH MY GOD, YOU ARE NEVER GOING
TO THE MALL BY YOURSELF AGAIN.

31
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,276
BURKE, BURKE, WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

32
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,112
BEFORE YOU GO NAMING A LAW AFTER LENNOX,
LET'S HEAR HER SIDE OF THE STORY.

33
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:22,150
- CONTINUE, LENNOX.
- OKAY, THIS LADY GAVE ME HER BUSINESS CARD.

34
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,685
"TASHA DE LA GARZA:
EARTH MODELS."

35
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IT'S A MODELING AGENCY.

36
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SHE WAS AT THE MALL LOOKING
FOR FRESH NEW FACES.

37
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,591
IN THE LADIES' ROOM?

38
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,061
- SHE SAID THAT I HAVE A LOOK THAT'S AUTHENTIC.
- OH, OKAY.

39
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,763
AND HOW MANY AUTHENTIC DOLLARS

40
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,431
IS SHE TRYING TO
SQUEEZE OUT OF YOU?

41
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,767
YOU ARE SO SUSPICIOUS.

42
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,137
OKAY, $500 FOR A
TRAINING COURSE.

43
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:46,474
HONEY, SCAMS LIKE THIS
HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

44
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,076
A WOMAN STOPS YOU IN THE
MALL, SAYS YOU'RE PRETTY.

45
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,345
YOU HAND OVER YOUR BIRTHDAY
CHECKS, NEVER HEAR BACK.

46
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,614
AND THEN THAT PIG-NOSED PENNY
DUNLOP MAKES FUN OF YOU SAYING,

47
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:57,651
"MODELS ARE NEVER THAT SHORT,
MEL BURKE," OR WHOEVER.

48
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,353
OKAY, BURKE, SO YOU GOT DUPED.

49
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,356
MAYBE LENNOX IS AN INCH OR
TWO SAVVIER THAN YOU ARE.

50
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,292
SHOULDN'T SHE AT LEAST GET A
CHANCE TO SEE FOR HERSELF?

51
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,360
SEE WHAT? THAT MODELING AGENTS

52
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:09,497
JUST WANT ANOREXIC ZOMBIES
TO HANG CLOTHES ON?

53
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:12,600
ANYWAY, TASHA WAS
A MODEL HERSELF.

54
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,268
AND HER AGENCY'S DIFFERENT.

55
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:17,171
IT'S ALL ABOUT REAL
GIRLS WITH REAL BODIES.

56
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,673
SHE INVITED ME TO COME
BY HER OFFICE TOMORROW.

57
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,743
OKAY WELL, THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE
GOING DOWN THERE IS WITH ME.

58
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,613
AND WHEN WE GET TO TASHA'S
SEEDY, DREAM-KILLING LAIR,

59
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,250
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THIS FILTHY,
DIRTY, STINKING SCAM'S ALL ABOUT.

60
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,885
HEAR THAT, LENNOX? YOUR AUNT
IS COMPLETELY ON BOARD.

61
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,190
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

62
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,691
- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

63
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,493
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

64
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,562
♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE

65
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,564
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

66
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,499
- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

67
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,235
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

68
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,837
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

69
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,473
♪ WITH ME ♪

70
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,644
Lennox: BOY, YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT THIS PLACE, AUNT MEL...

71
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,347
IT'S A SEEDY HELL-HOLE
WHERE DREAMS GO TO DIE.

72
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,416
OKAY, I WAS WRONG.
DREAMS GO TO DIE.WHERE

73
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:05,353
- YOU WATCH.
- OH, THERE'S TASHA.

74
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,788
I BET SHE DOESN'T SHE
HANDS HER CARD OUT TO.

75
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:11,759
LENNOX ELIZABETH SCANLON!
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT.

76
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,794
- YOU HAVE A MIDDLE NAME?
- UH-HUH.

77
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,696
AND THIS MUST BE YOUR AUNT MEL.

78
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,765
SHE DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE
KICKING AND SCREAMING.

79
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,667
( laughs ) INSIDE.

80
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,835
LENNOX, I WANT YOU TO MEET
SOME OF THE OTHER MODELS.

81
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,604
THIS IS LI-CHONG AND NALA.

82
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,606
WHY DON'T YOU GIRLS SHOW
LENNOX YOUR PORTFOLIOS

83
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,308
SO SHE CAN SEE THE
WORK THAT WE DO HERE?

84
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:30,478
- THANK YOU.
- HEY.

85
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,912
YOUR NIECE HAS A SPECIAL QUALITY

86
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,781
YOU DON'T OFTEN FIND
IN GIRLS HER AGE.

87
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,783
YOU MEAN AN AUNT
WITH A CHECKBOOK?

88
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,652
SERIOUSLY, I MEAN $500
FOR A TRAINING COURSE?

89
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,888
I DON'T CHARGE THE GIRLS
THAT I SCOUT MYSELF.

90
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,657
THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE
FLY-BY-NIGHT AGENCIES

91
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,426
THAT BILK NAIVE,
HOPELESS WANNABES

92
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,727
OUT OF THEIR SWEET-16 MONEY.

93
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,363
( laughing ) YEAH, HOW PATHETIC.

94
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,632
NALA'S PORTFOLIO WAS AMAZING.

95
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,701
AND SHE TOLD ME THAT
AFTER THE LAST SHOOT

96
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,270
THEY DONATED ALL THE CLOTHES
TO A HOMELESS SHELTER.

97
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:59,206
WOW, I HOPE ALL THE
HOMELESS ARE A SIZE ZERO.

98
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,409
YOU KNOW, LENNOX, I SENT A
COUPLE OF THOSE PICTURES

99
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,511
THAT I TOOK OF YOU AT THE
MALL TO A DEPARTMENT STORE.

100
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,346
THEY EXPRESSED INTEREST.

101
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,715
YOU HEAR THAT, AUNT MEL?
I HAVE INTEREST!

102
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,517
I KNOW THIS IS ALL
VERY EXCITING,

103
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,818
BUT AREN'T WE RUSHING IT?

104
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,686
LENNOX DOESN'T KNOW
ABOUT MODELING.

105
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,655
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SMILE
AND WEAR A SWEATER?

106
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,591
- YEP.
- WE'RE GOOD.

107
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,296
TODAY WAS THE DAY, JOE.

108
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,765
I WALKED UP THAT
LINE YOU GAVE ME: ED

109
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,402
YOU LOOK LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT'S
PRETTIER SISTER, ONLY PRETTIER.

110
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,639
THAT'S A VINTAGE
LONGO RIGHT THERE.

111
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,774
BACK IN THE DAY IT
WAS ALYSSA MILANO.

112
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,844
WHO?

113
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,313
ANYWAY, SHE BLUSHED
JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

114
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,781
DID YOU ASK HER SOMETHING
PERSONAL ABOUT HERSELF

115
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,650
AND THEN FURROW YOUR BROW
LIKE YOU WERE LISTENING?

116
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:46,286
YEAH, I FURROWED SO
HARD, I POPPED A ZIT.

117
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,722
WAY TO COMMIT, BUDDY.
WAY TO COMMIT.

118
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,324
ALL RIGHT, SO NOW YOUR NEXT MOVE

119
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,393
IS TO INVITE HER
FOR A STUDY DATE.

120
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:56,497
- MY HOUSE?
- NO, YOUR BEACH HOUSE, PLAYER.

121
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,499
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN
STUDYING FOR A WHILE,

122
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,334
YOU TURN TO HER AND YOU
SAY, "ARE YOU HUNGRY?

123
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,269
BECAUSE I JUST HAPPEN
TO HAVE A PIZZA MADE

124
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,772
COURTESY OF MY BEST BUDDY
JOE." AND THEN YOU SUGGEST

125
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,741
WATCHING A DVD FROM THE VINTAGE
LONGO MOVIE COLLECTION.

126
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,677
SO NOW YOU'RE OVER ON THE COUCH.
YOU DIM THE LIGHTS.

127
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,512
YOU SLIDE YOUR ARM AROUND HER.

128
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:14,515
THAT, MY YOUNG SQUIRE, IS THE BEGINNING
OF WHAT WE CALL A SERIOUS DATE.

129
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,784
I'M GONNA ASK HOLLY
FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

130
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,652
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD SHAVE?

131
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,321
UH, YEAH.

132
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:24,291
YEAH, THAT ONE CRAZY
HAIR ON YOUR CHIN THERE

133
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,293
DEFINITELY NEEDS CUTTING.

134
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,829
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. NO,
THAT WAS AN EYELASH.

135
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,369
HEY, I HEARD THE GOOD NEWS.

136
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,471
LENNOX IS GONNA BE DOING
A LITTLE PHOTO SHOOT?

137
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,040
IT'S AN OFFER. I HAVEN'T DECIDED
WHETHER I'LL LET HER MAKE

138
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,743
THIS TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE,
LIFE-ALTERING MISTAKE.

139
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,579
YOU KNOW, BURKE, MOST
PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT THINGS

140
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:48,048
WHEN THEY ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING
TO WORRY ABOUT, BUT NOT YOU.

141
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:52,052
HEY, LOOK, IT ALL STARTS WITH ONE INNOCENT
PHOTO SHOOT. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

142
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,688
THEY'RE FLYING YOU AROUND THE
WORLD, PAYING YOU GOBS OF MONEY.

143
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,924
AND FOR WHAT? STANDING
THERE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?

144
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,992
WITH WINGS?

145
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,429
I JUST DON'T WANT LENNOX
GOING OFF THE TRACK.

146
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,464
I DON'T WANT HER TO
VEER OFF AND BECOME...

147
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,534
WHAT, HAPPY? INDEPENDENT?
HER OWN PERSON?

148
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:10,571
SHALLOW, NAKED, LEO
DICAPRIO'S ARM CANDY.

149
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,074
LOOK, I INVESTED A LOT
IN THESE KIDS, OKAY?

150
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,109
I'VE MADE SACRIFICES
TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

151
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:19,379
- I JUST HAVE TO PROTECT LENNOX.
- FROM WHAT?

152
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,914
HEY, AUNT MEL, TASHA NEEDS YOU

153
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,016
TO SIGN THIS CONTRACT
FOR THE SHOOT TOMORROW.

154
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,654
AHA. FROM THIS... I WANNA
PROTECT HER FROM THIS.

155
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,356
HEY, BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU'RE POINTING
THAT THING. LET ME SEE THIS.

156
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,692
OH BOY, THIS TAKES ME BACK.
GOD, WHEN I WORKED AT SCANLON

157
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,894
I'D POUND THROUGH FOUR OR
FIVE OF THESE BABIES A DAY,

158
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,096
EXAMINING THE FINE PRINT,
LOOKING FOR LOOPHOLES,

159
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,599
WORKING LATE INTO THE NIGHT.

160
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,668
- GOD, I MISS MY OLD LIFE.
- SO WHAT DOES IT SAY?

161
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,770
WHAT ARE THEY GONNA
PAY HER, LIKE A BUCK?

162
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,473
- YEAH, 750 OF THEM.
- HOLY CRAP!

163
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,708
JUST FOR STANDING THERE
IN A FUZZY TURTLENECK?

164
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,977
I GUESS I HAVE WHAT
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR...

165
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,480
A FACE AND A NECK.

166
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,947
JEEZ, BURKE, WHAT
ARE WE GONNA DO?

167
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,717
I MEAN IT'S ALL GOING
HORRIBLY TERRIBLY FINE!

168
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,688
( dance music playing )

169
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,723
SMILE, LADIES.

170
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,892
I REALLY THINK SHE COULD
HAVE A CAREER DOING THIS.

171
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,894
LENNOX JUST POPS ON CAMERA.

172
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,997
THAT'S A NICE THOUGHT, BUT
SHE'S GONNA POP INTO COLLEGE.

173
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,701
- MODELING IS HOW I PUT MYSELF THROUGH COLLEGE.
- WHAT?

174
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,104
LIKE REAL COLLEGE OR LIKE ONE
OF THOSE INTERNET DEALS?

175
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,439
BIG STONE BUILDING WITH
A SIGN ON THE FRONT

176
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,908
THAT READ "PRINCETON."

177
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,843
WOW, AND YOUR AUNT
DIDN'T HAVE TO...

178
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,479
I MEAN YOUR FAMILY DIDN'T
HAVE TO PAY FOR ANY TUITION?

179
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,482
NO, AND MY FATHER WAS PRETTY
HAPPY, I HAVE TO SAY.

180
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,686
SMILE, BABY. THE
CAMERA LOVES YOU.

181
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,733
- ( whistling )
- HEY, MONEY GUY.

182
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,870
ME? WOW, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

183
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,939
SINCE SOMEBODY'S CALLED ME THAT.

184
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,042
- SAY IT AGAIN, SLOWLY.
- NO.

185
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,010
NOW COME OVER HERE AND
TELL ME WHICH ONE

186
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,446
OF THESE COLLEGE SAVINGS ACCOUNTS
WOULD MAKE MOST SENSE FOR LENNOX.

187
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,915
ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU NEED TO
LOOK FOR THE ADMINISTRATIVE FEES

188
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,618
AND THE EXPENSE RATIOS AND
ALL THE COMMISSIONS AND...

189
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,154
ALL RIGHT, BRAIN SHUTTING DOWN.
JUST PICK ONE.

190
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,057
HERE, GO WITH THIS ONE.
IT'S GOT SHINY PAPER.

191
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,994
TASHA SEEMS TO THINK LENNOX CAN
PUT HERSELF THROUGH COLLEGE

192
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,896
WITH THE MONEY SHE'S GONNA
MAKE FROM MODELING.

193
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,566
SO WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE GONNA
LET HER GO THROUGH WITH IT NOW?

194
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:22,035
MUST BE NICE NOT TO WORRY ABOUT
THINGS YOU SAID 10 MINUTES AGO.

195
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,938
LENNOX SAID SHE WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE
TO THE HOUSEHOLD, YOU KNOW?

196
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,007
AND IF SHE'S ABLE TO PAY
FOR HER OWN COLLEGE,

197
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,009
THEN I CAN TAKE THE MONEY
I WAS SAVING FOR THAT

198
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,012
AND PUT IT TOWARDS MORE
WORTHWHILE PROJECTS.

199
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,015
UH, IS THAT A BATHROOM?

200
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,184
UH, IT'S CONSIDERABLY
MORE THAN A BATHROOM...

201
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,186
WHIRLPOOL TUB, STEAM SHOWER,

202
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:44,024
TOWEL WARMER, A
MEMORY-FOAM TOILET SEAT.

203
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,794
JUST LIKE THE ONE DOWN
AT THE GAS STATION.

204
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,929
IT'S A DREAM DEFERRED.

205
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,263
SO THIS WAS YOUR BIG
SACRIFICE, HUH?

206
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:55,035
YOU GAVE UP YOUR DELUXE CUSTOM
CRAPPER THAT MEMORIZES YOUR BUTT?

207
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,871
OKAY, IT'S A HOME-SPA OASIS AND
I WAS HAPPY TO GIVE IT UP.

208
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,007
BUT NOW THAT LENNOX CAN
PAY FOR HER OWN COLLEGE,

209
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,977
I CAN FINALLY BUILD TARA.

210
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,947
YOU NAMED YOUR POTTY TARA?

211
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:10,050
YOU MAY THINK IT'S SILLY,
BUT FRANKLY, LONGO,

212
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,119
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

213
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:22,162
- YOU'RE STARING AT ME AGAIN, RYDER.
- OH, SORRY.

214
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,737
AHEM, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOU, HOLLY,

215
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,905
BUT STUDYING MAKES ME HUNGRY.

216
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,843
I JUST GOT AN IDEA JUST NOW.

217
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,712
HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A PIZZA
WHILE WE WATCH A MOVIE?

218
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,649
WELL, LIKE, WHAT MOVIE?

219
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:45,285
I HAVE A WHOLE COLLECTION OF
ACADEMY-AWARD-WINNING BEST PICTURES.

220
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,857
OLD MOVIES?

221
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,092
LIKE WITH THE BIG GORILLA
THAT CLIMBS THE EIFFEL TOWER

222
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,062
AND SAYS, "WE'LL
ALWAYS HAVE PARIS"?

223
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,664
( scoffs ) WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

224
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,634
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
PIZZA'S ALMOST READY.

225
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,170
WE CAN WATCH SOMETHING ON TV.

226
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,338
I LIKE SEEING PEOPLE
GETTING HUMILIATED

227
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,007
AND VOTED OFF THINGS. DON'T YOU?

228
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,643
OH, YEAH. FO' SHO'.

229
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:15,048
- DON'T USE WORDS THAT AREN'T WORDS.
- NEVER AGAIN.

230
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,784
HAVE I GOT A TREAT FOR YOU TWO.

231
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,052
HERE WE GO. YEAH.

232
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,990
- WHAT ARE THOSE CIRCLY THINGS?
- THOSE ARE OLIVES.

233
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,259
- I DON'T LIKE OLIVES.
- HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THEM?

234
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,896
NO, BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THEM.

235
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,732
I'LL PICK THEM OFF FOR YOU...

236
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,167
WITHOUT RUINING THIS
MAGNIFICENT PIE.

237
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,336
NO, BUT IT'LL STILL
HAVE OLIVE POO ON IT.

238
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,239
- BESIDES, IT LOOKS REALLY GREASY.
- GREASY?

239
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,241
I THINK IT'S JUST SHINY.

240
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,778
WELL, IT'S SHINY
BECAUSE IT'S GREASY.

241
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:48,281
OKAY, SO NO SHINY,
GREASY, OLIVEY

242
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,083
FOUR-HOURS-IN-THE-MAKING
PIZZA THEN.

243
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,653
SO THE TV'S IN THERE.

244
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,126
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JOE.

245
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,695
HEH, WOMEN, HUH?

246
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,200
- HERE YOU GO.
- PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST?

247
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,202
THERE'S PLENTY MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

248
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,072
WOW, JOE, THIS IS FANTASTIC.

249
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,241
DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS.
IS THAT GREASY?

250
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,176
- YOU SEE ANY GREASE ON THERE?
- NO, IT'S FINE.

251
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,679
YEAH? NOT TOO MUCH OLIVE POO?

252
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,915
HEY, RYDER, THERE'S
PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST.

253
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,884
- YOU WANT SOME?
- I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD.

254
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,386
DUDE, NUT UP. SHE'S
NOT EVEN HERE.

255
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,388
SHE'LL KNOW. OKAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

256
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,992
I'M GONNA TAKE ONE PIECE AND
THEN TAKE ANOTHER SHOWER.

257
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,095
NEVER SEEN A GUY CHEAT ON A GIRL
BEFORE WITH A SLICE OF PIZZA.

258
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:38,799
HEY, SOMEBODY WE KNOW HAS
AN AD IN TODAY'S PAPER.

259
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,401
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT... IT'S
NOT A CITY COUNCILWOMAN

260
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,071
OR A SMART-ASS KNOW-IT-ALL
WHO WORKS FOR ME.

261
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:47,741
BURKE, I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.

262
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,777
OH MY GOD, MY FIRST AD!

263
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:53,180
THERE SHE IS, MY NIECE.
THAT'S YOU.

264
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,949
- WELL, MOSTLY ME.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

265
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,985
WELL, THAT'S MY FACE,
BUT I DON'T KNOW

266
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,352
WHO THAT IS FROM THE WAIST DOWN.

267
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,288
THEY MADE MY THIGHS
THE SIZE OF MY ARMS.

268
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,858
IT'S EVEN SMALLER THAN THAT.
THAT'S LIKE RYDER'S ARMS.

269
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,027
HEY, COME ON, THEY TOUCH
UP PHOTOS ALL THE TIME.

270
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,097
I MEAN, HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE PICTURE
OF ME ON THE CITY COUNCIL WEBSITE?

271
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,365
I DIDN'T COMPLAIN THAT THEY
AIRBRUSHED ME UP A CUP

272
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,067
WITH LITTLE TO NO PRODDING.

273
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,869
MODELING IS A MEANS TO AN END.

274
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,437
IT'LL GET YOU THE THINGS
YOU WANT IN LIFE.

275
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,073
YOU JUST HAVE TO THINK
ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE.

276
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,909
YEAH YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

277
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,911
IT'S GONNA GET ME MY MINI.

278
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,047
( laughs ) YOUR
MINISKIRT FOR COLLEGE?

279
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,983
MY MINI COOPER. SO YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BUY IT FOR ME.

280
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,285
I CAN SHOW YOU THE VIRTUAL
ONE I DESIGNED ONLINE.

281
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:35,956
- HEY, MAYBE YOU CAN PARK IT IN MEL'S VIRTUAL BATHROOM.
- OKAY, HOLD IT.

282
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,126
SEE, LENNOX, YOU'RE USING YOUR
MODELING MONEY FOR COLLEGE

283
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:42,029
BECAUSE THAT'S THE PLAN
WE ALL HAD IN MY MIND.

284
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,031
THAT'S SO NICE OF
YOU, BURKE, TO TAKE

285
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:47,034
ALL OF THE BOTHERSOME THINKING AND
DECIDING OFF OF LENNOX'S HANDS.

286
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,202
AUNT MEL, I HAVE
IT ALL WORKED OUT.

287
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,272
FIRST IT'S THE CAR, THEN A YEAR
IN EUROPE AND THEN COLLEGE.

288
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,974
OR NOT.

289
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,176
OOH, I COULD OPEN MY
OWN ANIMAL SANCTUARY

290
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,911
AND LIVE ON A BOAT.

291
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,113
NO, A FLOATING ANIMAL SANCTUARY.

292
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,249
OKAY, LENNOX, SLOW DOWN.
I APPRECIATE THAT...

293
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,017
NO NO NO, I APPRECIATE YOU.

294
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,053
THANKS FOR CONVINCING
ME NOT TO FREAK OUT

295
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,520
ABOUT THE WHOLE AIRBRUSH THING.

296
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,156
LIKE YOU SAID, BIG PICTURE.

297
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,330
OKAY, SHE IS WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE MAKING
THESE KINDS OF IMPORTANT DECISIONS.

298
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,500
SAYS THE YOUNGEST COUNCILPERSON EVER
ELECTED IN THIS CITY'S HISTORY.

299
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,435
OH SURE, JUST THROW MY
SUCCESS IN MY FACE.

300
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,105
- I THINK I JUST DID.
- YOU KNOW, DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.

301
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,375
- WANT ME TO AIRBRUSH IT?
- LIKE YOU OWN A BRUSH.

302
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,989
BUT I DIDN'T WAVE TO
ZACK IN THE HALL.

303
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:46,359
THEN WHAT WAS THIS? JAZZ HANDS?

304
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,896
I THOUGHT WE AGREED
YOU WOULD ONLY TALK

305
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,164
TO THE APPROVED LIST
OF FRIENDS I GAVE YOU.

306
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,565
THIS IS FOR YOUR
OWN GOOD, RYDER.

307
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,335
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANK YOU.

308
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,171
YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO
MUSIC, PLAY THE WII,

309
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:01,308
WATCH JUSTIN BIEBER BLOW
HIS HAIR OUT OF HIS EYES?

310
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,845
I'M GOING TO I.M. MY FRIENDS.

311
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:09,249
BUT I THOUGHT YOU CAME OVER SO
WE COULD DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.

312
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,884
WELL, WE ARE.

313
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,453
SEE, YOU'LL SIT
HERE WHILE I TEXT.

314
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,555
OKAY.

315
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,060
- SO WHO ARE YOU TEXT...
- SHH!

316
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,498
( mouthing words )

317
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,308
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- I'M JUST GONNA GET A SNACK.

318
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,277
NOTHING CRUNCHY.

319
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,279
DUDE, COME HERE, COME HERE.

320
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,314
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT
THIS TO YOU DELICATELY,

321
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,384
BUT SHE IS KILLING YOU, BRO, OKAY?
SHE HAS SPAYED AND NEUTERED YOU.

322
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,153
HOW MUCH MORE ARE YOU
GONNA STAND FOR?

323
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,588
I LIKE HER AND SHE LIKES ME.

324
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:52,425
WHAT PART OF YOU DOES SHE LIKE?

325
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:57,330
SHE LIKES MY, UH...
SHE LIKES IT WHEN...

326
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,133
SHE LIKES THE WAY I
DON'T FIGHT BACK.

327
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,969
WHAT ARE YOU, MARRIED?
LISTEN, RYDER...

328
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,436
I KNOW, JOE! I KNOW!

329
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,306
HELP ME, JOE. HELP ME.

330
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,276
OKAY, AHEM.

331
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,644
OKAY, LOOK, THERE IS
AN EXIT STRATEGY.

332
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,185
HOLLY, I THINK YOU'RE
UNBELIEVABLY PRETTY.

333
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,187
WELL, YEAH.

334
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,189
AND IT'S SO COOL THAT
YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH ME.

335
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:25,692
- OH STOP.
- BUT IT'S JUST NOT WORKING.

336
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:30,263
LET ME PUT THIS IN
REALITY SHOW TERMS.

337
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,065
AMERICA HAS SPOKEN.

338
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:35,602
I'M VOTING MYSELF OUT
OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.

339
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:39,472
AW, THAT IS SO CUTE, BUT
IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

340
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,209
LOOK, HOLLY, I'M NOT KIDDING.

341
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,244
IT'S JUST...

342
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,649
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

343
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:53,453
LEMONADE, AND NOT THAT
HIDEOUS POWDERED STUFF.

344
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,488
YEAH, I WOULD NEVER
DO THAT TO YOU.

345
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,625
I'M SORRY, JOE.

346
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,693
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I WAS TALKING TO HER.

347
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,395
I WAS SAYING EVERYTHING YOU SAID

348
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,131
AND THEN THERE WERE THESE LIPS...
TWO OF THEM.

349
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,933
AND I THINK I BLACKED OUT.

350
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,536
I MEAN ALL THE BLOOD IN MY
BRAIN WENT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

351
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,272
YEAH, I DIDN'T REALLY EXPECT
YOU TO WIN THAT ONE ANYWAY.

352
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,007
WOMEN DON'T FIGHT FAIR.

353
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,177
- BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE, I DID GET YOU KISSED.
- YEAH YOU DID.

354
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,447
THAT TOOK A LOT OF WORK.
DOES IT GET ANY EASIER?

355
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,950
IF BY EASIER YOU
MEAN SOUL-CRUSHING

356
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,452
AND EXPENSIVE, THEN YEAH.

357
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,623
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE IN
WARDROBE ON THEIR MARKS.

358
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,992
AND LET'S HAVE SOME BIG SMILES.

359
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,461
IT WAS A GREAT DAY ON THE SLOPES

360
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,497
AND YOU'RE ALL EXCITED
ABOUT HAVING HOT COCOA

361
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,766
WHILE YOU... HIT ON EACH OTHER.

362
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,335
THIS COAT IS AMAZING.

363
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,970
HOW DO THEY MAKE IT
FEEL LIKE REAL FUR?

364
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,140
IT'S A SPECIAL PROCESS WHERE
THEY KILL A REAL ANIMAL.

365
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,976
YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T FAKE?

366
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,479
NOPE, IT'S REALLY DEAD.

367
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,282
AND NOW, BOYS AND GIRLS, I
WANNA SEE A LOT OF POINTING,

368
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,350
WINKING AND GOOD TIMES.

369
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,386
FEEL FREE TO LET
YOUR MINDS GO BLANK.

370
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,755
( camera clicking )

371
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,525
YOU, FROWNY GIRL.

372
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:10,063
I WAS JUST WONDERING, COULD I
TALK TO TASHA FOR A MOMENT?

373
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,999
SURE, WHY NOT? IT'S NOT
LIKE ANYONE'S BUSY WORKING.

374
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:17,070
- I'M STARVED.
- YEAH WELL, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK HERE.

375
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,005
THIS IS ALL THE STUFF I
PICKED OUT OF MY SALAD.

376
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,674
NO, THESE BEAN SPROUTS
ARE REALLY GOOD.

377
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,410
I PRETEND THEY'RE FRENCH FRIES.

378
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,011
THAT'S FUNNY. I EAT FRENCH FRIES

379
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,080
AND PRETEND THEY'RE
BEAN SPROUTS.

380
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,515
WELL LOOK, IT IS A GOOD THING

381
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,418
THAT JOE PACKED
LENNOX A SANDWICH.

382
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,786
WELL, HALF A SANDWICH.

383
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,424
OH GOD. IS THAT BREAD?

384
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,528
PUT THAT AWAY.
SOMEBODY'LL SEE IT.

385
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,430
HOW ABOUT IF I HIDE
IT IN MY STOMACH?

386
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,534
YEAH, BUT WE DON'T
WANNA ENCOURAGE PEOPLE

387
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,436
TO BUY STUFF WITH
REAL FUR, DO WE?

388
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,438
OF COURSE NOT, BUT
THE CLIENT DOES.

389
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,173
AND WE NEED TO KEEP THEM HAPPY.

390
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,508
SO FORGET ABOUT THAT DEAD
ANIMAL AROUND YOUR NECK

391
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,477
AND GO FROLIC IN THE SNOW.

392
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,379
CAN I AT LEAST WEAR
SOMETHING ELSE,

393
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,080
LIKE MAYBE ONE OF THE SWEATERS?

394
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,250
NO, THOSE ARE PRETTY FITTED.

395
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,551
WE WANTED TO PUT
YOU IN THE JACKET

396
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,786
BECAUSE IT'S MORE FLATTERING
FOR YOUR BODY TYPE.

397
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,589
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BODY TYPE?
- NOTHING.

398
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,358
BUT THIS IS A BIG JOB

399
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,561
AND THEY LIKE THE THINNER GIRLS.

400
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,465
CAN WE SHOOT THIS BEFORE
MY HAPPY PILLS WEAR OFF?

401
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,234
I JUST... CAN I JUST
HAVE ONE MORE MINUTE?

402
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,735
YEAH.

403
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,437
AUNT MEL, LOOK AT THIS.

404
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,073
- OOH, IT'S SO SOFT.
- IT'S REAL FUR.

405
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,475
OH, IT'S SO WRONG!

406
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,443
CAN'T THEY PUT YOU IN ONE
OF THE OTHER OUTFITS?

407
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,413
I ASKED, BUT SEE, THEY SAID THEY
HAD TO KEEP ME IN THIS FUR BURKA

408
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,081
ON ACCOUNT OF ME BEING ENORMOUS.

409
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,318
- REALLY? THEY SAID THAT?
- WELL, IN SO MANY WORDS.

410
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,221
YOU KNOW, THIS IS NOT HOW
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

411
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:45,358
I WANT A CAR AND AN ANIMAL
SHELTER AND COLLEGE.

412
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:48,127
AND THIS WHOLE THING'S JUST
STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE CREEPY.

413
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,664
- WHAT SHOULD I DO?
- WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

414
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:55,268
I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA DO. YOU...

415
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,470
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE YOUR
OWN DECISION, KIDDO.

416
00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:00,139
AW MAN, THE ONE TIME I ASK
YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

417
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,441
IRONIC, ISN'T IT?

418
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:05,578
CAN WE GET A COUPLE SHOTS
BEFORE THESE KIDS NEED BOTOX?

419
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,149
OKAY, YOU'RE HAPPY.

420
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,686
YOU'RE HORMONAL. YOU'RE
AMERICA'S TEENAGERS.

421
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,423
( camera clicking )

422
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,192
THERE'S THE SMILE I
WAS LOOKING FOR.

423
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,861
YEAH, I CAN'T DO THIS.

424
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:25,198
- THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.
- LENNOX, SWEETIE,

425
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,434
NO ONE CARES WHO YOU ARE.

426
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,470
WHEN YOU'RE A MODEL, YOU CAN'T
PICK AND CHOOSE THE JOBS YOU WANT.

427
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,171
YOU WEAR WHAT THEY
TELL YOU TO WEAR.

428
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,207
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A
CAREER ANY OTHER WAY.

429
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,510
OH, I'LL HAVE A CAREER,
JUST NOT THIS ONE.

430
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,246
BYE.

431
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:42,148
- COULD YOU GIVE ME A LIFT HOME?
- OF COURSE.

432
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,652
OH, BUT FIRST THERE'S
SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO.

433
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,688
- HERE, EAT! LIVE!
- Tasha: NO! STOP!

434
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,526
NO, STOP! DON'T FEED THE MODELS.

435
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,928
WAIT, I HAVE JELLYBEANS TOO!
SUGAR!

436
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,536
( sighs ) TO TARA.

437
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,239
I GUESS YOU AND I JUST
WEREN'T MEANT TO BE.

438
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,807
AW.

439
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,543
ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH
YOUR IMAGINARY TOILET?

440
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:14,681
WHY DON'T YOU JUST WRITE A...
YOU KNOW, A "DEAR JOHN" LETTER?

441
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,916
LENNOX ISN'T MODELING ANYMORE,

442
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,585
SO I'M BACK TO
PAYING FOR COLLEGE.

443
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,388
AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN
THINK I REALLY HELPED HER.

444
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,756
SURE, YOU DID. YOU GAVE HER SOME
SPACE TO DECIDE FOR HERSELF

445
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,492
AND SHE REALIZED IT
WASN'T THE RIGHT THING.

446
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,361
NOT ENOUGH.

447
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,963
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?

448
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,199
YOU WERE RIGHT FROM
THE VERY BEGINNING.

449
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,703
SAY IT AGAIN, SLOWLY.

450
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,573
OKAY, YOU TOLD
LENNOX THAT MODELING

451
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,642
PROBABLY WASN'T THE
BEST IDEA FOR HER.

452
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,244
AND YOU, MEL BURKE,
WERE 100% CORRECT.

453
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,314
YOU JUST DIDN'T BELIEVE
ENOUGH IN YOUR OWN ADVICE.

454
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,615
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME I WAS WRONG.

455
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,484
- YOU SHOULD LEARN TO TUNE ME OUT.
- REALLY?

456
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,320
NO, NOT REALLY. YOU SHOULD
LISTEN TO ME AT ALL TIMES...

457
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,221
EXCEPT WHEN IT
COMES TO MODELING.

458
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,489
SO THAT'S YOUR ONE WEAK SPOT?

459
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,425
YES. OTHERWISE I REALLY
DO KNOW EVERYTHING.

460
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,361
- OH, SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
- NOT A CLUE.

461
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,370
WHO DO YOU THINK'S
GETTING VOTED OFF...

462
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,871
THE ANGRY GIRL
WITH THE NOSE RING

463
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,373
OR THE BITTER GUY
WHO'S BEEN NAKED?

464
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,975
SHH, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
WITH ALL OF YOUR BLABBING.

465
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,010
SORRY.

466
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:22,682
- CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND?
- FINE, WHATEVER.

467
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,485
BUT LIGHT PRESSURE.

468
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,488
AND SIT UP STRAIGHT.

469
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,491
SLOUCHING GIVES YOU
AN OLD MAN POUCH.

470
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:35,628
- CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
- I KNOW, SHE'S FEISTY.

471
00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:38,398
I LIKE HER.

472
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,433
( theme music playing )